Throughout my teens and 20s, I was thin. Super thin. When people made jokes about seeing size 0 at the store, I would laugh along with them and quietly rip the tag out of my jeans so nobody could confirm I was, in fact, a slightly malnourished size 0.
Now I rip the tag out of my jeans so nobody can confirm I’m an overly nourished size 14. To add insult to injury, over the years, I have lost so much strength in my body, I’ve become winded simply folding the laundry. I am not making that up to be funny. It is the cold, sad, disgusting truth.
I started this blog almost two years ago after trying to hike an embarrassingly short distance with some work friends. I was sweating and in pain. All I could think about was lunch. And beer. And maybe a Makers Manhattan. Or perhaps two Makers Manhattans.
When I returned to my office, a full hour earlier than everyone else, I said sheepishly to another co-worker, “I couldn’t do it.” My face and neck were raining sweat. And, I was bitterly disappointed in myself.
This co-worker waited for me to finish complaining and pissing and moaning about how I used to be so fit before he said, “Well, now you have a starting point.”
Thus a blog was born. I wanted to hold myself accountable by publicly shaming myself into getting some form of exercise every day and eating only local (read: non-processed) foods.
Now, let me be clear. For the most part, I want to punch lifestyle bloggers right in the face. I assure you, I am not taking you on my journey to good health and I don’t embrace life with open arms and an open heart. I am a writer by trade, earning most of my income these days writing marketing copy and press releases, so keeping a blog felt pretty natural. I never thought anyone would actually read this nonsense.Since starting this blog (I even object to the word…blog…unless you’re referring to Bob Loblaw), I have learned my cholesterol is dangerously high; my blood pressure is starting to get out of control; I’ve had an anterior cervical discectomy and fusion; I’ve kind of pretended to cut meat fat from my diet; and I have turned 45.
I’m totally failing, but would love for you to join me as I embrace my life on this journey to good health.
On the plus side, I don’t smoke. Unless I’ve been drinking.